I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
