I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
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I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
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We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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