so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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