Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
