Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
