I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
