Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
