Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
