i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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