So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize