Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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