Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Randomize
