i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize