one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize