Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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