why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
How naked do you want me to be?
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