Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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