No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
