does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
