Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
