dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
