FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
