as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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