The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
