I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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