You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
