so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
