Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
dude. I can hear the air.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
