I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
