K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
