I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
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It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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