I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
