whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize