...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
My balls are so social today.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
