Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm like, not good at living.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
