I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
And then my night got REAL pukey
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
