you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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