is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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