Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
