is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Randomize
