imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
