My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
