He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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