Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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