You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
