i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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