And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.