yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on