let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.