Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  she looked like the bat from fern gully.

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  (480): she looked like the bat from fern gully. http://tfl.nu/q79p
  Replies (31) Good night (819) Bad night (3372)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Fuck I'm high.

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  (908): Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles. (908): Fuck I'm high. http://tfl.nu/titc
  Replies (56) Good night (1710) Bad night (3399)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.

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  (608): and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet. http://tfl.nu/bxi6
  Replies (22) Good night (640) Bad night (2065)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.

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  (720): i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there. http://tfl.nu/dzaj
  Replies (22) Good night (552) Bad night (3351)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls

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  (772): bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls http://tfl.nu/txmo
  Replies (58) Good night (2418) Bad night (7970)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?

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  (954): can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future? http://tfl.nu/6a5x
  Replies (5) Good night (3340) Bad night (998)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.

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  (231): I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends. http://tfl.nu/26nn
  Replies (15) Good night (1853) Bad night (3963)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."

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  (908): don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..." http://tfl.nu/9x9f
  Replies (16) Good night (2011) Bad night (3738)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.

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  (260): I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box. http://tfl.nu/twf4
  Replies (3) Good night (823) Bad night (2373)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  no more duck duck goose at the bar

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  (484): no more duck duck goose at the bar http://tfl.nu/05y7
  Replies (6) Good night (2339) Bad night (828)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.

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  (770): Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers. http://tfl.nu/qvqu
  Replies (10) Good night (2753) Bad night (860)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.

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  (256): We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money. http://tfl.nu/cfn1
  Replies (7) Good night (2059) Bad night (810)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.

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  (914): Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game. http://tfl.nu/xx77
  Replies (15) Good night (3198) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."

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  (901): I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking." http://tfl.nu/tuv1
  Replies (3) Good night (534) Bad night (202)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.

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  (785): So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck. http://tfl.nu/iki8
  Replies (1) Good night (295) Bad night (299)

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