ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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