sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
organizing the empties. That sober.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
