i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
just tell him i said nine months
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
