why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Just high enough for therapy.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
