im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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