I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
you will always have a special place in my vag
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
