but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
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Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
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You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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