I wish you could order shots online.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize